Rape attempt: I thought he was a gentleman.

Dear Bunmi,

I attended a friend’s party recently and accepted and offer of a lift from one of the guests as it was almost midnight. He’s not a boyfriend, though he’s fairly well known to me. On the way home, he started fondling me and putting my hand on his crutch. I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of his action only for him to drive to a quiet spot and tried to rape me. I fought him off very violently and escaped into the night.

Dear Susan,

You can’t rule out bad behaviour amongst some men no matter how responsible they look. Thankfully, not all of them are louts. To help you be on your guard, here are some tips experts advise you follow when going to a party or on a date. 

Always tell someone which party you are going to and when you expect to be back. Carry a charged mobile and money if you are travelling by public transport. Don’t take drinks from strangers or leave your drink unattended. Met someone new? Don’t go home with them or ask them back. Arrange another date. 

Agree with your mates to look out for each other. Then if you feel unsafe or ill, you’ll have someone to turn to. Don’t ever walk home on your own. Don’t drink and drive. Take car keys away from your friend who might be tempted. On public transport, sit near the driver with an eye to the exit door. If using a taxi, avoid unlicensed ones (kabukabu) and avoid a taxi that is already occupied. Lastly, stay alert and aware. Think ahead, what would you do if something went wrong?